UPDATE: Childhood friend's family tries to sabotage a man's marriage to help their daughter win him back, so he cuts ties with them and saves his marriage, putting his wife first: 'I was ready to fight'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Aug 4, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

This woman's husband must have been quite the catch because he had his childhood friend's entire family chasing after him like he was "The one that got away." What this entitled family didn't realize was that he loved his wife far more than he loved his childhood memories, so chaos ensued when they tried to sabotage his relationship in an attempt to get their daughter to win him back. 

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    via Prostock-studio

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My husband's childhood best friend asked me for a favor, then humiliated me in front of her family. I'm done being the bigger person (New Update)
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • I've been sitting on this for a few days, trying to decide if I'm just being dramatic or if I've been letting too much slide for too long. So, I (30F) have been happily married for a few years now. My husband (31M) is honestly a gem, kind, patient, hilarious, loyal. Basically everything you'd want. Which, after having an ex cheat on me with his best friend, is...
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • kind of a big deal. That relationship wrecked me for a while, but I worked hard not to drag the wreckage into something new. And my husband? And thankfully, my husband's never given me a single reason to question him. Until now? Maybe? I do not know.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • My husband and I have a great relationship, and we're pretty social and often hang out with each other's friends. I get along with almost all of his group, and they've honestly made me feel welcome... except for her. His childhood best friend. Let's call her "Clare".
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • Clare has always been cold to me. Not outright rude, just subtle enough to make me feel crazy for noticing. You know that kind of vibe? Every time we've been in the same room, she's managed to talk around me, not to me. I tried. I really did. I've smiled. Made conversation. Been nothing but warm, even when she's given me nothing to work with.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • She doesn't show up to group hangouts. But she'll invite him over. And he always tells me, to his credit. He never goes without mentioning it, and he's never weird or secretive about her. But it still rubs me the wrong way. I've tried being friendly, I've tried small talk, h_l... I
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • invited her to our birthdays, barbecues, engagement dinner (she bailed on all). She skipped our wedding too. And she only ever seems to reach out to him...usually when she's just been dumped and needs to "talk".
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • When I've brought it up, my husband says I'm overthinking it. That Clare is just "a little odd socially." Maybe she is. Then, a few weeks ago, out of nowhere, she messaged me. She asked if I'd model for her project. Totally unexpected. And I was caught off guard
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • enough to say yes. Part of me thought, maybe this is her trying to connect. Maybe this was her olive branch. I even felt a little hopeful. God, I was naive. So I agreed. My husband offered to come with me since he hadn't seen her in a while and thought it'd be fun to catch up after.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • When we got there, her family was also involved. And from the second I walked in, it was like stepping into some passive-aggressive Twilight Zone. Her mom and sister kept calling my husband "our son-in-law.". I laugh, awkwardly. Think I must've misheard. It
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • only got worse. During the shoot, came more of the snarky comments. Jokes about "the one that got away" and "some bonds never fade." Her mom, at one point, literally said, "We always thought Clare would end up with him. But life has its detours, I guess" "Clare always imagined walking
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • down the aisle with him." And then: "It's sweet of her to fill in, though." Oh come on! I wish I was exaggerating. And Clare? Just kept snapping pictures. Smiling. Saying nothing. No "Hey, cut it out," no awkward laugh, no redirect. Nothing.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • My husband? Clearly uncomfortable. I watched him fidget through the whole thing, clear his throat a few times... He tried to change the subject or came near by me during the shooting. He didn't say much either. Just went kind of quiet.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • I stuck it out for an hour. Let her take her photos. Smiled, posed, whatever. But the whole time I felt like I was part of a social experiment, and everyone else was in on the joke but me.When we got in the car, he was silent for a while. Then finally said, "Sorry about all. That was... weird, right?"
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • And honestly? I didn't even know what to say. Because yeah... it was weird. It was borderline disrespectful. And the fact that he was there, saw all of it, clearly felt it too, and still didn't step in or pull the plug? It makes me feel kind of alone in this.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • I'm just tired. Tired of pretending this woman is harmless or just "awkward". She knows exactly what she's doing. II don't want to start a huge fight. But I'm at the point where I don't want her in our lives. Not as a friend. Not as a ghost in the corner of our marriage. No
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • more bending over backwards to be the "cool" wife. I'm not interested in earning points with someone who clearly doesn't want me around. Anyway. Thanks for letting me scream into the void for a minute. I really needed to get this out.
    via u/anxiousfem12

  • Do you remember your first crush? I do. I wrote his first name and last name on the slide at recess with a Sharpie and thought that meant we would be in love forever. Here I am at 30 years old, and I don't even know what city this guy ended up in, what he does for a living, or, honestly, anything about him. Childhood friendships and crushes disappear over the years as we mature, and it's only natural that we move on from them. But this childhood friend of a married man could never move on, and instead of gracefully accepting her defeat in the romance department, she decided to wage war against a married couple. 

  • No-Strawberry-5804 "Borderline disrespectful"???? I'd hate to see what you think is actually disrespectful
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • Update Apr 23, 2025 A quick recap for those who missed the original: My husband's childhood best friend (Clare) has never liked me. She skipped all invitations (but invites my husband alone), avoids me in person, and still found little ways to insert herself into his life. The final
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • straw? She asked me to model for her final photography project. I showed up thinking maybe it was maybe a fresh start. Nope. Instead, I got publicly mocked by her family, who joked out loud that she should've been the one marrying my husband.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • For those wondering: No, they never dated. He had a high school crush on her over a decade ago. That's ancient history.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • • No, I don't think he's ever cheated, emotionally or physically. He's always very open and honest. We have each other's passwords. • They barely see each other anymore in person, maybe once every few months. (We live about 2 hrs away)
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • Okay. So here's the update. Funny enough, I didn't even get the chance to sit down and talk to my husband before something else happened. (I just cant believe my life at the moment).
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • Anyway, i was still trying to process what happened and sort through my anger towards Clare, and honestly, toward my husband too. That's when I got a message from my sister-in-law, we'll call her Madeline. I'm really close
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • with Madeline. She's also part of the wider social circle that Clare floats around in. They're friendly but not close. She sent me a screen recording from Clare's Close Friends story with a ?"It was a clip of me simple: posing during the shoot, NO MUSIC.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • But in the background, you can clearly hear Clare's sister say, "Clare should've been the one to marry him." I. Lost. It. I waited until my husband got home from work, sat him down, and showed him the video. He watched it
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • once, then again. His whole face changed, he finally looked ped. I could not help but think why didn't he have the same reaction there? So I laid it all out. I told him everything. Every snide comment, every time Clare made me feel small. How I'd always
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • tried to be civil. How I never asked him to choose between us. But I was done being polite while someone consistently disrespected me. I told him "If this doesn't bother you enough to act, we've got a bigger problem. I'm not going to be in a marriage where I have to beg to be
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • defended. I need a partner who stands up for me. And if that's not you... then I need to rethink this." He didn't argue. didn't get defensive and I know he feels sorry. Then I showed him the Reddit post. He tried to read every comment. Some of them made him tear up.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • When he finished, he looked at me and said that he feels like the worst husband. He let this happen right in front of him. He is so sorry. And asked me "What do you need from me now?"
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • I told him straight up "This isn't just about her anymore. It's about whether or not you're willing to protect this marriage. But I'm not going to feel like I'm second place in my own relationship. so It's either me or her."
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • So we called Clare. She picked up all cheerful, acting like nothing had happened. We brought up the video. She immediately got defensive. "Oh come on, it was just a joke. Are you really mad over that?" seriously?!
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • And that's when he stepped in. "This isn't just about the video. It's the constant disrespect toward my wife. I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to lose your friendship, and I convinced myself you didn't mean it. But what happened at that sh ot? That
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • was disgusting. My wife came to support you, and you and your family treated her like a joke. I didn't speak up then and I'm ashamed of that. But that ends now. I don't even know why I held on to this friendship for so long. If you can't respect my wife, you don't respect me."
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • She laughed, literally laughed. "Wow, you're really cutting me off over that girl?" OMG I was ready to fight. But husband calmed me down, said to Clare "If choosing between you and my wife ever felt like a hard decision, I wouldn't
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • deserve her. We're not kids anymore, you need to grow up. I simply do not want to be your frienf anymore. I have nothing else to say." (Telling you he can be a gem sometimes)
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • But yeah, we blocked her and her entire family. Since then, he's been checking in with me. Not trying to fix things. Just... showing up. Listening, understanding. He finally sees what I've been dealing with. We've still got some healing to do. But now I know where he stands. And that changes everything for me.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • Final Update July 24, 2025 Hi again. I wasn't going to post a third time, but a bunch of people kept asking for an update so I figured I'd just close this out.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • My husband actually read the 2nd post too. yeah... After seeing it all written out and reading the comments which surprised him that people were still curious. But maybe that was a good thing.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • Anyway, the update itself isn't dramatic. After that last call, we blocked Clare and her whole family. And that was it. No follow-up, no weird texts, no fake apology, nothing. Just silence. And honestly? That silence was kind of the best thing she ever gave me :)
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • My husband's been great. Not doing too much or trying to overcompensate, just steady. He finally sees how much I was putting up with. He's been more protective in a real way, not just in words. He owns how passive he was before. It doesn't feel like we've been trying to "move on", it just feels like we're on the same page now.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • I think the biggest shift is internal. I'm not second guessing myself as much. I'm not trying to win people over who've already decided not to see me. I feel a lot more grounded, and it's because I finally spoke up instead of brushing things off. So yeah. Not much drama, but a lot of clarity.
    via u/anxiousfem12
  • Thanks to everyone who commented or messaged or just listened. I'm probably going to delete this account soon, but this thread honestly helped more than I can explain. For anyone else dealing with subtle disrespect that makes you question your own gut. You're def not imagining it. You're not being dramatic. You don't have to keep being the bigger person just to stay "nice".
    via u/anxiousfem12

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